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Funny Things:

================================== Kaden (7 years old), in church on St. Patrick's day, wipes a booger on his shirt. As I'm cleaning it off he says, "Well, at least it's green!" Ashton (7 years old): "If I could have one wish it would be that there was no taxes and that we lived in a mansion" http://pinterest.com/source/so-relatable.tumblr.com/ Funny things to say: (when people ask what you do for a living) I am a... shepherd cartographer puppeteer minstrel / storyteller =========== Movie / TV Quotes Psych: --------- Lassiter: Spencer, keep your pie hole shut until I assess the crime scene. Shawn: Nothing shuts my pie hole but pie. --------- Gus: Where's Lieber? Juliet: Gone. Looks like he's on the lam. Shawn: If he's on a lamb he won't get far. Alpaca, different story. Those things really fly. --------- =========== The Office: "Nostalgia is one of the human's greatest weaknesses. Second only to the ...
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Lawyer Jokes

  CANONICAL LIST OF LAWYER HUMOR   GOTTA LOVE THEM LAWYER JOKES   LEGAL INSANITY LAWYER CARTOONS   LAWYER'S JOKES ABOUT CLIENTS   STRANGE SEX LAWS   INMATES FRIVOLOUS LEGAL ACTIONS   EMBARASSING TRANSCRIPTS   CLASS ACTION SUIT - JOHN DOE V. SATAN   COURTROOM BLOOPERS ...
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Humor

Steven Wright All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. OK, so what's the speed of dark? How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. I intend to live forever - so far, so good. Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Eagles ma...
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